it took me a long time to get over the feeling of regret and punishing myself because a girl didn’t want me. If they didn’t love me, or didn’t want me, then I was living in a fantasy for a long time.
There was this girl that recently cheated on her girlfriend with me. She kept lying about it and I would feed into it until I did some snooping and it didn’t take much to see that she was still happily with her girlfriend. So I eventually cut her off. Then I got a call that she was kicked out of her home for being gay and I was there right away and for some reason I thought because she wanted ME and I was the one around for her, that everything would change. I thought she wanted ME as more than her side girl that she cheated on her girlfriend with. Then she moved in with her girlfriend a few days later.
Let me just say that I’m completely regretful that I helped her cheat on her girlfriend. I don’t know her. I’ve never met her or spoke to her. But I don’t like what I unknowingly did for a while. And then fall into the cliche trap of being told that she was gonna leave her girlfriend. things weren’t ‘working out’ between them so it’s gonna end soon. I WANTED to believe that.
But to get a call from this girl asking why I’m not in her life anymore really fucking sucked. Telling me that I’m overreacting and hard headed in a way that was fucking with my mental state. Was I overreacting? Was I just being hard headed? No. I did the one thing to see if she really wanted me in her life. If she was gonna step up to the plate or not.
I told her if she wanted me in her life AT ALL, she had to tell her girlfriend about me, and everything that’s went on. I haven’t spoken to her since.
So now I know my worth to her. Even if I wasn’t worth anything to her, Now I know the worth of her girlfriend to her also. I know how she treats women. and it’s not right.
If you fuck up, admit your mistakes no matter how hard it is.
If you’re with someone like this, end it. It’s not healthy for you and it’s clear that this person has no intention of having an honest commitment.
It takes a grown ass person to own up to their mistakes. So to show that they have no intention of being an adult, it shows where their priorities are.
So if you’re dealing with someone like this, leave them. They’re not worth your time. You can be spending your time with people so much more faithful and loving and that actually CARES about you.
I don’t know how to deal with change. I freak out for a bit when plans change or I’m needed for something I didn’t know about until last minute. I feel like my entire world falls apart and I don’t know how to process things. It takes me ten minutes minimum to deal with a change of situation.